Just Grace

I had a strong sense of justice growing up. I used to fire up whenever I saw someone being bullied by kids at school. I wrestled the school bully to the ground when I was 10 years old. The teachers used to sit me next to the naughty boys because I shut them up in class.

There were teachers who also bullied kids in highschool and I sought justice for them as well. Once I brought a tape recorder into class and captured an entire shaming session from a teacher towards a child. I got in a lot of trouble for that.

There have been seasons in my life where my sense of justice has broken me. The problems began as I developed a stronger sense of grace as well. Justice and grace don't actually mix very well. When you feel deeply for the victim and deeply for the perpetrator at the same time, there's no resolution. No outlet for justice. Just pain.

I am so thankful that I've realised over the years that rectifying full justice is not my role in people's lives. And in fact, showing complete grace is not either. There is only One who knows how to carry out both fully and simultaneously. Only One. I'm learning more and more how to leave it up to Him.

What I can do is listen. I will listen to pain and I will feel it as deeply as I can before it breaks me. I can't promise that I will bring justice and I can't promise that I will understand. What I can promise is that there is Someone who can and will.